Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Well, it's.

Well it's time for bed I think.

Once again I find myself staying up later than is practical and dreaming of my home.

I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up. Everyday seems to be a struggle. Tiny, niggly, things keep getting on my nerves and pushing me to breaking point.

My brain hurts from the effort. I'm always tired, always feeling ill.

I don't sleep during the night, because the night is the only time I have to myself at the moment, when I can deliberate without interruptions.

I don't eat much, partly because I often sleep through breakfast and lunch, and partly because I haven't the stomach for it anymore.

I think I looked pretty today. I blow-dried my hair but didn't straighten it so it sort of floated around my head in loose waves. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "I should go out".

But what's the point, really, when my boyfriend is thousands of kilometers away? Who have I got to look pretty for?

So I stayed inside all day, watching tv and checking my facebook and myspace and deviantart every fifteen minutes to find no new alerts.

Is this really all my life has turned into?

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Thanks for showing me some love ;)