Sunday, May 16, 2010


Wow, I have changed a lot. It hit me last night at Groovin the Moo. I don't really know who I am anymore.

I feel sort of demoralised and useless - incapable of resolution and lacking the fight I used to have in me. It's kind of sad.

I used to be a really strong, confident person, didn't I? I knew what direction I was heading in. I knew what my limits were. I don't feel like I have any limits anymore. It's scary. I feel like I'm pushing myself too far.

I find myself going to further and further extremes, these days. Recently I've gone places I used to think I never would. But it doesn't seem to matter so much anymore.

I don't feel as if I have anyones expectations to live up to, but this isn't a good thing. I still want my parents to be proud of me, but I can do whatever I want when I'm out without them really knowing about it. I used to want to be good for someone, but I lost them long ago.

This is a horrible come-down.


  1. Mmmmm, lots of things. I did something that sort of goes against my morals and I'm just hating on myself I guess. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut :(

  2. Ah I see... well don't announce a war against yourself. I suppose the only way to overcome this is to learn from it.


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