Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Yesterday I got.

Yesterday I got to the bus stop 45 minutes early so I sat and read. It was rainy and windy but I was fairly nicely bundled up in my coat. I had a diet coke.

I read Olalla, by Robert Louis Stevenson. Before reading it, I was not a fan of his at all. I have of course read both Treasure Island and The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, and they were such let downs for me. Olalla, on the other hand, I loved. The plot and the language were much better constructed, and the characters were considerably less annoying.

The day was perfect for reading this kind of text. It was gray and over-cast, but I didn't find it depressing. It was beautiful. The air was fresh and clean.

The one thing that upset me was the sheer amount of cigarette butts all over the ground around me. Smoking is a disgusting habit - I've always felt like this - but what saddened me the most was that it brought up a memory I'd forgotten; I smoked a cigarette on Saturday night while under the influence.

Why do I drink? Nothing good ever comes of it. I always regret things I've done on a big night out. One day soon I'm certain that I'm going to do something terrible and irreversible after consuming alcohol. Will this thought stop me from drinking? I am 100% certain that it will not. Aren't I ridiculous?

Well, I am what I am.

1 comment:

  1. You're not ridiculous, just very normal (in a democratic "most people are like this" sense). Have you ever read "Consolations of Philosophy" by Alain de Botton? If not I suggest you read the last chapter on difficulty. Most people drink because it is easier than not drinking - it makes socialising easier because it dulls anxiety, and agreeing to a drink within a group of people is easier than not agreeing to a drink and answering questions. But the point made in the book is that it is only through difficulty that we learn and improve ourselves - rather than dull the anxiety, work through the anxiety and prove to ourselves that we are not the socially useless people we assume ourselves to be. The trick to not drinking then is isolating the reason you are drinking, then concentrating on that problem rather than glossing it over.

    I personally rarely drink for two reasons: 1. It sulls the senses, and I've realised the greater joy in my life comes from sensual experience, and 2. it hinders memory - therefor, anything I might do when drunk I risk losing - anything I had to be proud of, or learn from, or could otherwise use to remind myself of something, I lose to a drunken haze. Also it helps that 3. I've never been prone to peer pressure - I can imagine it would be much, much more difficult to not drink had I not had this blessing for some reason.

    But nothing is ever in vain. You can drink a lot now to know you don't like it, so then you can eventually stop it.


Thanks for showing me some love ;)