Saturday, November 28, 2009
After midnight tonight I'm not allowed to eat or drink anything in preparation for the surgery.
Before today, I hadn't eaten a meal in 10 days. Hospital food tasted like it was fucking gourmet. Also kind of felt like the last supper.
I've been trying to figure out what I'm going to think about before I get knocked out. They say you usually dream about what you think about just before you fall asleep. I've heard good things about general anesthetic-induced sleep, so I don't want to waste the opportunity ;)
Currently have antibiotics dripping into me, which is making it a little awkward to type. I've had this needle inserted into me for the past two days.
I'm in a two person room but I'm the only one here. There was this old lady before who told every nurse her life story and snored last night. Now she's gone and so is her bed, which makes the room feel rather empty.
Now I'm tired.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
I line them up in columns starting with the color I only have one of, then the color I have two of, and so on.
Today I had two orange ones, and two yellow ones. I tried to decide which color to place first, but I couldn't decide which one I preferred.
I brought my head down so that my eyes were level with the table. Upon closer inspection, I could see that one of the yellow M+M's was slightly misshapen.
Disgusted - but also perversely delighted, as this solved my dilemma for me - I ate it.
Now, my M+M graph was perfect, I thought. But even as I looked at the little colored circles I felt a pang of regret for what I'd done.
This was discrimination and segregation at it's worse.
Shaking my head sadly, I carefully gathered all of my little chocolate friends together in my left hand.
I ate them all in one mouthful.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
I've been so busy lately. Just finished up a five day weekend, which turned into a six day one as I pulled a sicky yesterday, and now a seven day one, as my classes were canceled today.
I could write all about what I did during those five days, but I feel like I haven't got time. It's ridiculous, because really, I have all the time in the world. I'm sitting here on my laptop, drinking my coffee in the kitchen, in Europe, for fucks sake. No uni or anything to worry about. But I know that there are things I should be doing - things I've been putting off for weeks.
Oh, fuck it, I don't even care.
My life at the moment is all about the writing. I can't remember if I've said so in here but I'm doing nanowrimo this year. It's where you have to write a novel of 50 000 words in the 30 days of November. But because I was doing so much over the weekend, I missed four whole days of precious writing time. As a result, I spent most of yesterday typing furiously in my room. I'm now on just over 10 000 words, which is no where near enough.
Anyway, how about an excerpt? Yes, I think this is altogether necessary:
Making up his mind he glanced in both directions and crossed the street. Cassie turned when she heard him approach. She looked frustrated at first, but when she saw him her face lit up, and she smiled.
“Oh, hello,” she said, “What are you doing here?”
“I live across the road,” he answered, pointing, and she nodded in understanding.
“I live a few houses down,” she said. He almost said, “I know,” but stopped himself just in time and instead returned her nod and asked,
“What are you doing?”
He could see now that she was holding a piece of paper and a roll of sticky tape in one hand, and that she had a bunch of the same paper wedged in her sling.
“I'm putting up posters,” she replied, and handed him a sheet. It read, in bold, black font, “LOST: AIR GUITAR. If found, please call or text 0384 667 766”. Ed looked back up at Cassie and was greeted with a half smile. He laughed,
“Do you think anyone will actually reply to this?” he said, handing it back to her.
“I intend to find out,” she answered, before turning back to her work. Ed watched as she placed the paper against the the tree, then proceeded to hold it in place with her forehead while she attempted to blindly tape it on. He laughed again,
“Do you need a hand?”
She looked sideways at him from her strange position and grinned,
“I was beginning to think you weren't going to offer at all.”